Things NOT to say to Anorexics

Somethings that you might think are innocent enough to say to someone with anorexia are actually either very offensive or might cause them to lose more weight.

Here are some things you should avoid saying:

Can you give me some weight lose tips?

Yes I can give you weight lose tips but you might just die in the process.

Yes anorexics generally know quite a lot of weight lose tips but these tips are dangerous and life threatening. You will lose weight using these tips but they will probably be extremely unhealthy. You probably will lose a few pounds but as soon as you go back to your regular eating patterns, you will gain the weight back.

What to do instead.

If you really want to loose weight, eat healthy and moderately exercise. Do NOT join the ED community.

But I've seen you eat!

We are people too and that means we eat. Most people think anorexics completely stop eating. That is not the case. We mostly cut back on what we eat. We still will eat but not as much. When you say this to someone with an eating disorder, they might take it as an insult and start eating less.

What to do instead.

Don't comment about what they eat. Commenting about what they eat will make them quite nervous and not want to eat around you.

How much do you weigh?

Tell me how much you weigh first.

It's human nature to not want to tell other people your weight. Anorexics are no different. Would you like people asking you about your weight constantly? Probably not. So don't ask others this question.

What to do instead.

Don't make comments about their weight/shape/food intake. This will make them nervous and strain your relationship. Also they might want to cut back on food even more.

You're so thin it's unhealthy!

Thank you.

You might think this is an insult but most anorexics will call this a compliment. Armed with the motivation to lose more weight, they will cut back on food and exercise more intensely for more people to notice and for them to comment about it as well.

What to do instead.

Best thing to do, don't comment about their body. Their body is their body meaning that you have no right to be talking about it.

I have anorexia because I skipped a meal.

No. Just no.

Let me tell you a story. I have a friend named Erin and she is sort of a wannarexic. She says that she has anorexia because she doesn't eat breakfast. Okay you might have the symptom anorexia but you do NOT have Anorexia Nervosa! Skipping a meal does not mean you have an eating disorder.

Saying this is very, very offensive. When Erin said this, I was shocked. I couldn't believe she had just said that. I was very offended. I didn't say anything about it because she is a good friend but still, I was pissed.

Saying this is implying that eating disorders are a joke and everyone has one to a certain extent. Anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS are NOT jokes. They are serious mental illnesses that kill. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness with 20% succumbing to their eating disorder and only 40% truly recover. Doesn't sound funny now does it?

What to do instead.

Just don't say it.

Eat something or (insert threat here)

Threatening them to eat is quite a stupid thing to do. Most people who do this actually have pure intentions but this is not the way to go.

Threats do not work. In all honesty, threatening them will only cause strain on your relationship. They will pull away from you and believe that you are the villain in the story. Also chances are they won't eat anything.

What to do instead.

Encourage them to eat. Don't force them to, encourage them. There is a difference.

Just snap out of it!

Trust me if I could, I would.

You cannot just snap out of an eating disorder. If that was the case then why would there be such a high mortality rate, eh?

It's not a state or mind, it is an illness. Saying "Just snap out of it!" to an anorexic is likes saying "Just snap out of it!" to a cancer victim. You cannot just snap out of it; it takes time to heal. Saying this will only strain your relationship.

What to do instead.

Like I said before, encourage them to get better. Don't force it upon them, encourage them.

Это называется свобода слова!!!!!

Titled translates into "It's called freedom of speech!!!!!"

I am absolutely pissed off at Facebook. More than I was when I found out that my little brother drank all my Coke Zero and I was pissed at him. Well, I made a Facebook page (username RussianAnorexic) titled "Pro Ana" designed to help people who suffer from an eating disorder but do not wish to recover. Well it got about 80 likes before Facebook decided to be an ass and deleted it.

Well today I woke up and decided to check my email. I had about twelve emails from twitter. I quickly scanned through them before deleting them. Then I saw it. The email was titled "Facebook Warning". I thought maybe I did something wrong, like posting to many stats in one go but it wasn't like that. It was a notice about my Facebook page "Pro Ana". I didn't know what to think so I continued to read. Here are some direct quotes from the email:


Yeah...no

"You are receiving this message because a friend is concerned about something you posted on Facebook."

None of my friends know about that page...

"Facebook is working with the National Eating Disorders Association to provide resources to our users and to support those struggling with eating disorders."

Well, deleting a page meant to support those who do not wish to recover is NOT supporting those struggling with eating disorders. So many pages post things that say that you must recover. I disagree with these pages. Recovery is a personal choice and not something to be forced upon. You are not supporting anyone by saying that you must recover.

In some sense, I understand what they were doing. Probably over 75% of the people on that page were wannorexics. Mind you that I do not hate wannorexics for their thinking, I hate them for posting stuff onto sites meant for people actually struggling with an eating disorder. Honestly, I wanted to scream at them. I really did. It was ridiculous the things they were posting. I don't have any screen shots but I do remember some stuff.

Most messages that I got went along the lines of this:

"Hey I just started with Ana. Can you give me some tips?"

First off, you can't just start with anorexia. Second, if you are actually anorexic, you wouldn't be asking for tips. I didn't even know about the anorexic community on the internet until like last year and I've suffered from an eating disorder for seven years!! For all that time, I knew all the common "tips" that people posted.

In conclusion, I'm still pissed off that Facebook does not allow freedom of speech. I live in Canada not North Korea! I have a voice! Will it be silenced? Never!!! During the Cold War I understand but that was over like twenty years ago! I am pissed and I will always be. So Twitter, you are better than Facebook.